Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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