Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
