yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize