matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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