weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
