isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
