just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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