What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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