would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
