I wanna passion pit in your ass
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize