I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize