Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
