I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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