Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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