I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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