Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize