What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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