So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
