thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
