Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
