One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
