How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
