it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
