you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
