Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
