maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
