I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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