I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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