I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
