weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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