I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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