my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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