So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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