Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Found your dick twin last night
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
