What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
