I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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