just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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