The beer is more important than you right now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
