I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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