The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
