I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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