And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
