Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
