i don't like sucking hair
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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