you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
