Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
