i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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