playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
