This girl is more easily done than said...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
