I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
