Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
