Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
