The maid of honor just puked.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
