no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
