Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
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