I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
