You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish you could order shots online.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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