He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
