if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He better not be in your backpack
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
