If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I will pee on everything he values.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
