She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
