bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize