She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
