how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
