I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
