Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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