So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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