i jhust puked up my retainher.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have aggressive nipples.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
