I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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