my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
sex in a hospital.. check
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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