I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
